the lost art of solitude

 

 

 

 

 

“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.”~Henry David Thoreau

Post written by Leo Babauta.

You don’t need to be a monk to find solitude, nor do you need to be a hermit to enjoy it.

Solitude is a lost art in these days of ultra-connectedness, and while I don’t bemoan the beauty of this global community, I do think there’s a need to step back from it on a regular basis.

Some of my favorite activities include sitting in front of the ocean, still, contemplating … walking, alone with my thoughts … disconnecting and just writing … finding quiet with a good novel … taking a solitary bath.

Don’t get me wrong: I love being with loved ones, and walking with a friend or watching the sunset with my wife or reading a book with my child are also among my absolute favorite things in the world.

But solitude, in these days as much as ever, is an absolute necessity.

The Benefits of Solitude

The best art is created in solitude, for good reason: it’s only when we are alone that we can reach into ourselves and find truth, beauty, soul. Some of the most famous philosophers took daily walks, and it was on these walks that they found their deepest thoughts.

My best writing, and in fact the best of anything I’ve done, was created in solitude.

Just a few of the benefits I’ve found from solitude:

• time for thought


• in being alone, we get to know ourselves


• we face our demons, and deal with them


• space to create


• space to unwind, and find peace


• time to reflect on what we’ve done, and learn from it


• isolation from the influences of other helps us to find our own voice


• quiet helps us to appreciate the smaller things that get lost in the roar

There are many more benefits, but that’s to get you started. The real benefits of solitude cannot be expressed through words, but must be found in doing.

How to Find Solitude

You start by disconnecting.

Take every means of connecting with others, and sever them. Disconnect from email, from Facebook and Twitter and MySpace, from forums and social media, from instant messaging and Skype, from news websites and blogs. Turn off your mobile device and phones.

Turn off the computer … unless you’re going to use the computer to create, in which case, shut off the Internet, close your browser, and shut down every other program used to connect with others.

The next steps depend on which of two strategies you use:

1. Holing yourself up. This can be done in your office, by shutting the door and/or using headphones and the calming music of your choice. If possible, let coworkers know you can’t be disturbed during a certain block of your day. Or it can be done at home, by finding a quiet space, shutting the door if you can, or using headphones. The key is to find a way to shut out the outside world, including co-workers or those who live with you.

2. Getting away. My favorite way to find solitude, actually. Get out the door, and enjoy the outdoors. Take a walk, find a park or a beach or a mountain, find a quiet coffee shop, find a shady spot to rest. People watch, or nature watch.

Other tips:

• Try taking a quiet, relaxing bath from time to time.


• Curl up with a good novel.


• If you’re married with kids, ask your spouse to give you some time off to be alone, and then return the favor. Make it a regular swap.


• Take a walk every day.


• Get into work earlier, and work in quiet.


• Have a nice cup of tea.


• Try a regular time each day when you’re disconnected.


• Consider limiting the stream.


• Trouble with self-control? Use one of these tools.


• No time for solitude? Try these tips.


• Try sitting still, and focusing on your breath as it comes in and goes out. As your mind wanders to thoughts of the past and future, make a patient note of that, then gently return to your breathing.

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” ~Albert Einstein

 

For more information on Leo check Contribute and Guest Authors

A Season of Giving

Give Back

Doing things for others is one of the best ways to feel good. Every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I asked my boys to choose a charity that THEY would make a donation to during this season. Yes, I said them not me. They would earn allowance throughout the year, and they would have to set aside 10% of their allowance to go to the charity of their choice. Yes, at times, like around February,  they would mumble when they would have to do chores and knowing that a percent of their allowance would go to someone else, but I would remind them on how good they felt giving a gift to someone who didn't expect anything, ( as parents we would always match their amount at the end of the year so they could contribute a little more.)

My son, Addison always gave to the ASPCA, he loved it when it came time to donate his money, he would call the local ASPCA and ask them what they needed, then we went shopping for the animals in the shelter. On the day he delivered his gifts, the ASPCA would allow him to take a dog bone, or cookies, whatever he bought that year and allow him to go around to each cage and feed them a treat. ( *Special Note: Before you do this call the office first, some ASPCA's have restrictions on what to feed the animals.) I still get goosebumps when I remember how important and proud he felt offering these treats to the animals. It still makes me cry, I am so proud. He would then share his story with his friends and family the entire holiday season, believe me its a gift that keeps on giving long after the treats are gone. To this day, he still makes a donation and volunteers occasionally at a shelter.



As a family we always "Adopted a Family" during this time, this was set up through our town, to help other families enjoy their holiday too.  I would go to City Hall, and they would select a family for us to buy presents and food for during the Holiday season. My children and I would would head to the store and buy the things our "adopted family"  list. Usually it was things like, athletic shoes, clothes, basketball, small things like that. The parents usually asked for table cloths, pillows, bed linens, and food.

Think about others this season, if you don't have money to donate  perhaps you can use your talents or gifts in other ways. There are always ways to use your gifts for good. For example, grow a garden and donate some of the produce to a local homeless shelter. Or donate your time to build a website for a small non-profit. your children can draw Christmas Cards to give to your local Senior Center. Be creative.

[rad-hl] Let me know how your family gives to others during this season and beyond, so we can share your ideas with other families. [/rad-hl]

 

Acer W510 Hands On and review

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Build Exercise into Your Daily Routine

 

This may be a tip that makes you shudder. Of course, you know you should exercise, but you can’t stand the thought of it or can’t even begin to figure out where you’ll work it into your schedule.

Find a sport or exercise game in which you love. Yes I said love. I do not enjoy running on a treadmill, I would rather watch paint dry then to step foot on a treadmill. I am a social person, I love to talk so I found tennis. I can talk while I play, its competitive and after 2 hours I’m exhausted. So I started to make tennis a  part of my weekly routine, by joining a team, now I am held accountable to my teammates.

You need to determine a time of day when you are most likely to follow through. For me, it’s first thing in the morning. In the middle of the day there’s the inconvenience of having to shower again. And at the end of the day, I’m too tired to think about exercise (aside from a leisurely walk after dinner).

Once you decide when you’re most likely to exercise, add it to your daily routine. Schedule around it. Shift commitments around to accommodate it.

a brief guide to life

 

 

 

 

 

‘A few strong instincts and a few plain rules suffice us.’ ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter or identica.

Life can be ridiculously complicated, if you let it. I suggest we simplify.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote, which I’ve stolen as this site’s subtitle, is the shortest guide to life you’ll ever need:

“Smile, breath, and go slowly.”

If you live your life by those five words, you’ll do pretty well. For those who need a little more guidance, I’ve distilled the lessons I’ve learned (so far) into a few guidelines, or reminders, really.

And as always, these rules are meant to be broken. Life wouldn’t be any fun if they weren’t.

the brief guide

less TV, more reading
less shopping, more outdoors
less clutter, more space
less rush, more slowness
less consuming, more creating
less junk, more real food
less busywork, more impact
less driving, more walking
less noise, more solitude
less focus on the future, more on the present
less work, more play
less worry, more smiles
breathe

Slow Down

 

Our children are a direct reflection of us. Children are taught to have the same eating patterns, the same attitude toward life and exercise, love of family and how to live life on a day to day basis. Teach your children how to slow down. This important life lesson will help them when they become adults too!

Why are we always in a hurry, where are you going in such a rush? The most important things in life are right in front of you...your family. If you disagree with this statement then please read Tuesdays with Morrie, it will help you put your priorities in order.

 

We live in a fast-paced world. Our days are packed with activities and we have information thrown at us everywhere we turn. We scramble to get our email inbox cleared out, “multitask,” and rush in our cars from one place to the next.

It’s not good.

Slowing down can be applied to a lot of different parts of your life. Eating, doing chores, reading to your children, walking, breathing, driving, speaking to someone, it has been shown that slowing down will decrease your stress hormones.

 

Take a look at how you spend your time. Find ways to clear your calendar of commitments that don’t align with your values and interests. Limit your children’s extracurricular activities. Take  a day of rest.

Power food: Cauliflower

 

 

There is a connection between cauliflower and cancer prevention,  since cauliflower provides special nutrient support for three body systems that are closely connected with cancer development as well as cancer prevention. These three systems are (1) the body's detox system, (2) its antioxidant system, and (3) its inflammatory/anti-inflammatory system. Chronic imbalances in any of these three systems can increase risk of cancer, and when imbalances in all three systems occur simultaneously, the risk of cancer increases significantly.

reference: WH Foods