by Winsome Campbell-Green, Author of ‘Ten Life Changing Lessons’
For those who have experienced marriage, I am sure you have been asked this infamous question: “so how is married life?” This is a question that is posed to me ever so often by friends, family, and colleagues. Personally, its everything I expected. There are no surprises! There I said it. Growing up I have always heard people complain of various issues that affects their marriages. I've listen to women give details of how much they became calculated and suspicious of their partners. Therefore, if I was looking for inspiration or the perfect role model couple I would never have taken that amazing step.
The truth is marriage is not for everyone. Couples should ensure they understand the real reasons for getting married. Both individuals should love and respect themselves first, in order to have a healthy relationship. Before walking down that isle that, have no reservations and be certain that this is the right step for you. Having unrealistic expectations will cause a breakdown in communication and consequently the marriage.
As for me I am happily married. My husband and I are best friends and we can communicate effortlessly. We support each other in all aspects of our life. The love and bond we share is quite powerful and impenetrable. As time goes by we embrace both internal and external changes that affects our lives. We enjoy the little moments and appreciate each other.
A very key element of our relationship is RESPECT. The bible speaks about it in a traditional sense and some persons interpretation vary (Ephesians 5: 22-33). In my case, we see ourselves as equal partners. I understand when to step back and allow him to fulfill his role as a husband in our family. In moments like this I embrace my ‘duty’ as a devoted wife. On the other hand, there are times when he allows me to fulfill my role as a wife and he supports me. Some women may feel like they are not in control and are submitting to the idea of being ‘submissive’. However, they can’t allow ‘ego’ to get in the way. My husband has my complete and utter respect. Why? He never compromises on his values. Whatever he says that is exactly what he means and I trust him completely.
August 2012 marked our first anniversary and it was beautiful. We spent a lovely weekend in Negril Jamaica at Breezes and we were given the royal treatment. One night we dined in the Japanese restaurant with three couples. We were the youngest couple and the ‘newbies’ to marriage. One was married for 36 years, one for 17 years and another 15 years. There we were a table of strangers who all began to share our thoughts on marriage. The husbands all 'ganged up' on the wives and agreed that they just said 'yes dear' to everything. Seriously? Yes, it was quite amusing. I think what they were basically saying was that marriage is about compromise. That goes for any relationship. In order to compromise, you must also be willing to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice you make and one can choose not to retaliate verbally if wronged. Just remember you have each other and nothing is more beautiful than that. Overall, it was a beautiful experience.
Most young adults are turned off from the idea of getting married. I think because they have listened to the horror stories of other people and what they have observed, they can't even begin to fathom the notion. We live in society where we are taught that marriage is suppose to be impermanent. However, I was born to parents who were married so it was not a question for me. That's the only choice I know. Everyone is entitled to their own choice and many choose not to be married, simply because they don't think it is necessary. Still, it is not something to be feared. Don't be afraid you will lose your identity. In fact your partner is your other half and is there to support you in everything. Marriage has even brought me closer to a more spiritual side of me. God is a vital part of our household. A family that prays together stays together and that is great. Once you put God and keep him in the middle you should be fine. So to all the newlyweds out there and persons who are getting reading to tie the knot, marriage is what you make it. Life is what you make it:)
Thanks for Reading!
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